“I’m going to do you a favor, Ranger.”
The words of the Bravo Company 1SG in Mountain Phase of Ranger school hit me like a ton of bricks. His “favor” was letting me re-do mountain phase to clear out the plethora of major minuses I had accrued in the three weeks prior. Let’s face it, the moment I acquired my 4th major minus two days into the first field exercise, I knew I was going to recycle the phase. I spent the next 15 days trying unsuccessfully to earn a major plus (my only hope to salvage my performance); it didn’t happen.
Somehow word of my demise had reached the boys coming to join us from Darby and my best friend Chad Shields flew off the bus with a smile calling out my name. I was devastated when he recycled Darby, he was elated to find out about my failure. I sat on his bunk for a few minutes laughing with him and vividly describing the pain that was to come: the blueberry pancakes are awesome, the terrain is terrible, the RI’s are worse. Chad shrugged it off, “eh, it could always be worse.”
We made it through most of the phase without incident, but as we stepped off to start our second field exercise, it began to rain…
It was November 2004 on the Appalachian trail and the rain did not quit. We lived through Forrest Gump style “every kind of rain”. At one point we came down from the mountain and were told to fall-in to formation. I remember the rain was coming down violently and the Ranger Instructor (RI) was yelling some instructions that I couldn’t hear. I leaned to my buddy and asked what we were being told. “Change your socks.” I laughed hard as I watched my boot fill with water and hail while i put on “fresh” socks. Chad looked at me, “It could always be worse!”
The rain on it’s own wouldn’t have been that terrible, except that the temperature kept dropping. It felt like it was just above freezing and soaking wet. My body began to ache in places I didn’t even know I had. My hands and feet went completely numb, and I could barely feel pressure. It felt like my big toe was missing which actually made walking a bit tricky. My hands swelled up and cracked open and the blood froze on my skin. I had tons of frozen cuts and scratches. We learned to work around the violent shivering as it was a sign that we weren’t hypothermic yet. Chad smiled at me, “It could always be worse!”
Finally on the night before Thanksgiving, the rain stopped.
It was amazing. I looked up at the clear night sky and let out a sigh of relief. That would be very short lived though. Once the rain clouds were gone, the cold really began to set in. I could feel it crawling around my skin and penetrating my bones. When I stretched out my arm, water would drip off my uniform onto my hands and it felt like little daggers, the only sensation coming from my hands was pain. I looked around for my buddy. Through his chattering moon-lit teeth, Chad forced a smile, “It could always be worse!”
I have never stared so expectantly at the horizon as I did that morning. If my will would have had an effect, the sun would have risen hours earlier. Instead I searched for the first ray of light that would bring at least some warmth as I reached the brink of giving up.
As the early morning light finally pierced the darkness and landed on me, I looked down to notice a sheen across my uniform that didn’t exist the day before. I reached for my chest and the uniform began to crack. That sheen was ice. I stared down in disbelief and began to crack and sweep the ice off my body. Then guys began to quit.
I smelled the new RI’s before I heard or saw them.
My nose picked up the scent of Pantene and Irish Spring coming from the base of the mountain. It meant fresh instructors, and it also meant the “fuck-fuck” games were about to start.
The next hour is a blur. Instructors were yelling, guys were quitting and dropping out; some had frostbite, some had frostnip, more yelling, it was pandemonium. We were ordered to start three warming fires and to change our uniforms and put on polypropylene and gortex. I was on a machine gun, so no warming fire for me.
As I began to undress I felt a wet drop on my face, then another, then another. “You’ve got to be kidding me! It’s way too fucking cold to be raining,” I yelled in the general direction of Chad’s position as I unbuckled my pants and dropped them to the ground. I heard his distinct laugh and I looked up in a rage when I saw it. I was right, it was too cold for rain…it was snowing.
So there I stood, completely naked in the snow wringing out my polypro when I made eye contact with Chad. He was now in full on laughter and it was infectious. I wanted to be angry, I really did, but as I stood there hopping from one bare foot to the next dreading the thought of putting on this sopping wet clothes, I couldn’t help but join Chad in laughing at how ridiculous this whole thing was. “It can always be worse?” I asked him. “Oh no dude, it’s all downhill from here,” he bellowed with a deep and honest laugh.
I’m Thankful for…
I was excited to finally start our movement, and within the first hour my body heat had dried the uniform; I was thankful to get moving. The sun somehow beamed through the near foot of snow and actually felt warm against my face; I was thankful for the sun. As soon as the mission was over, we loaded up in trucks and started heading back to the base to get ready for our next phase; I was thankful it was over. On the ride back I sat next to Chad, and together we laughed with the others that made it; I am thankful for my friend, nay, my brother.
-LJF
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