My parents are far from perfect (so am I) but they are my biggest heroes. I still admire and respect many of our national heroes (God knows there are and have been some GREAT ones) but truthfully none of those people have influenced me in the same intimate capacity. Popular national heroes, like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., The Wright Brothers, Helen Keller, Neil Armstrong, Jackie Robinson, and SO many more, typically influence us in grand theoretical ways. They display attributes that we desire to have ourselves. They behave in ways that we respect. They teach us lessons through their own struggles and stories. But it is the names (like Bruce and Leslie Shields; and Randy and Mary Paulson) that most people have never heard of that are actually in the trenches with us. As a former military officer I am well aware that the “cream rises to the top.” Enlisted men and women hardly get the recognition that they deserve. Their successes become their boss’s successes. Names like Patton, Eisenhower, and MacArthur are easy to remember but who can name two of their staff members or name their respected Command Sergeant’s Majors?
My point is this; some people will get recognized more than others. It’s simply a fact of life. However, we must never lose sight of reality. It was the unrecognized people who actually tossed hand grenades and manned the machine guns that truly won the day. Not the well known “face-man” alone.
The family-unit is our proverbial foot soldier. They are the “no-names, forgotten-names, and often taken-for-granted-names.’ They are the ones duking it out in close quarter combat. In present-day America, it is my opinion that, the family-unit is engaged in trench warfare of its worst kind. Bayonets are fixed and survival is on the line. If we lose this fight, if the family-unit does not survive, our source of strength will be gone. We will have lost our CoG as a nation and subsequently everything else we hold dear.
I do honestly believe that EVERYTHING we have achieved as a nation started around the fire pit, dinner table, or family room.
Where else do you learn the bedrock principles and values that carry over onto a national stage?
Beliefs like hard work, honesty, courage, self-reliance, generosity, etc. matter and are what we should aspire to achieve (or live out). These types of beliefs were not, are not, or ever will be government created or inspired things. They are ideals and they are passed on from one generation to the next through the family-unit.
Every time we think these critical beliefs and principles are being corroded in our country, I would challenge us to also look at the status of the family-unit. I think we will find a scary correlation.
Louis devotes a lot of time to writing about his experiences as a husband and father. He openly shares his struggles at it. I appreciate his candidness. Honestly, I think parenting as become more difficult for all of us. Not just veterans.
I believe it has become more difficult for parents because it has become more difficult to be a child in this country. Children are under a burden unlike anything we have seen in the past. American children are being pressured from so many angles; by their peers, our media, schools, and parents themselves. They are expected to act like adults and make adult decisions without actually ever growing up and experiencing life. Several cultural changes have had tremendous impacts against the family-unit, especially for the parents. Financial tension in families is increased because of the status of our economy. Parents have a shorter fuse when they come home stressed. I think single parenting is the climax of this stress. Thus, the rising divorce rate affects all of us.
I felt like when I grew up (in my respected town and neighborhoods) everyone had similar values and beliefs. No matter where you went to play, the rules were pretty much the same. Almost everyone’s parents had the same standards and expectations. I don’t think this is true anymore. Not for my children and future generations anyway. Every family seems to have their own standards. Our children experience many versions of right and wrong. This is confusing to children. These changes in society are having an effect on the family-unit as a whole. Everything from how we discipline or children to how we empower them is being challenged. Old ways won’t work anymore. My parents’ “way of doing business” were simple solutions for a society with simple problems. I think it is more complicated today. I think refined solutions to parenting and efforts at preserving the family-unit are required. (Sal Severe, Ph.D. and author of “How to behave so your children will, too”)
For the sake of our children we need to get involved as veterans. We need to cope with the discomfort of all these home adversities and the times we live in. Becoming a Soldier, Airman, Seaman, or Marine means that some part of you was willing to sacrifice, take on the scary job, or do what others were too intimidated to do. Well, welcome to being a spouse and being a parent. It is scary. There are a lot of unknowns and it is not for the faint of heart. But, it is where the fight is. It is where you (all of us) are needed. Get into fight. If you want to throw some hand grenades and be a real difference maker: make dinner, do the dishes, change a diaper….
In summary, I believe that the family-unit is America’s CoG and I believe it is being threatened significantly. I have put my money where my mouth is. I have gone “Gold to Green.” I have given up my rank and status and climbed into the trenches because I believe it is important.
I believe whom parents actually were is less important than the memories and perceptions their child had of them.
I am not going to let this fight go uncontested. I hope you won’t either.
family