“What is your greatest career accomplishment? What are you most proud of?”
Before I even knew it, the words came out, “I brought all my guys home from Afghanistan.”
In an instant my brain flooded me with memories. Memories of the deployments, memories of the firefights, memories of the years in preparation. I remembered how seriously I took every event, every run, every class as though my life and the lives of my men depended on it; because they did. I remembered clawing my way through ranger school, never quitting even though my body begged me to. I remembered the phone call with Robert Kislow, when he cried that he had lost his leg, when he felt as though he had failed us. I remembered how I felt that I didn’t do enough for him and years later he took his life. I remembered all the phone calls I’ve gotten since I left the military and all the friends I’ve buried in the last 14 years.
A knot formed in my throat. My eyes got glassy. I tried to push that emotion out. I opened my mouth to speak. My voice cracked again. I stopped.
I looked at the perplexed faces of the people interviewing me. They simply didn’t understand, they couldn’t understand.
It was the first time this ever happened to me. I’ve had many interviews since I left the military, and I’ve always been able to talk about my years as an infantry officer with objective detachment. A surgical approach to my military career, Situation, Task, Action, Result. For some reason, this question was different.
“What are you most proud of?”
Well, I didn’t get the job.
Nowadays I answer that question very differently and I avoid answers that will stir up all those emotions. I focus on tasks, actions, and results. I give the interviewer the answer that I know they are looking for.
I prepare.
I know I’m far enough removed from combat now that I can give plenty of examples while avoiding discussions about my 24 months in the desert. While those stories make for great content in a book, they haven’t really helped me stand out in a positive way in interviews. Honestly, civilians don’t relate well to those experiences (no matter how much they try and say otherwise), and if I’m at risk of another emotional spat by talking about it, then it isn’t elevating my interview either.
If you’ve had a similar experience, or a polar opposite reaction, tell me about it. Send me an email, comment, like, share, whatever. I want to know what you are going through and what your experiences are.
I never again want to feel like I could have done more.
-LJF
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One of the reasons we love you and your family. Thank you for bringing them home
Very good letter!