Alright, if you’re still in uniform, then maybe you have some fantasies about what it’s going to be like when you ETS, i’m about to tell you the real God honest truth…
Step 1
If you are retiring, step 1 does not apply:
It all starts when you make the decision to get out and you inform your command. You’re resolute, but they want to shake you, so all of a sudden everyone in your chain of command wants to be your best friend and sit down for a chat. You also can’t refuse because they promise they won’t sign shit until you’ve sat down with all of them. So begrudgingly you sit down and listen to all the reasons why getting out is a bad decision.
Step 2
It’s time to clear! Now these motherfuckers get their revenge. You want out? You’re going to have to pass the mother of all obstacle courses, travel to thirty different locations in search of coveted stamps. But you must get there while they’re open, still make it to formation, train your replacement, clean your gear, and be there to help your family move. Good luck.
Step 3
Freedom! Oh man, let me tell you, there are very few things that feel better in this world than the last time you drive off post clutching that stamped DD214. It’s really hard to describe. You remember how it felt when you started block leave after a deployment and the first sip of beer hit your lips? That’s nothing compared to this. I laughed for hours with a smile firmly affixed to my face.
Step 4
Starting your new life! It’s time for a new and exciting career! You’re elated to get on with life now that you have officially ETS’d. The work feels easy in comparison to what you have been doing. No need to get up at 5am, no uniforms, no duty, no weekend formations, no safety briefs, and no deployments. You sleep in your bed every night and when you walk out of the office, work is left there.
Step 5
Then it happens…the monotony of daily life hits. You’ve gotten fat because you haven’t been working out, so you have to get up at 5am to go workout at the gym. Then you go into the office, sit in a cubicle and listen to people complain about their tedious jobs. As you work your way through powerpoint, you imagine jumping from a plane, assaulting an objective, firing your weapon. You remember the smell of the firing range and the pulse in your chest from explosions. You think about your buddies, usually the ones that didn’t make it home first, then the ones you don’t talk to nearly enough anymore. Then it hits you, you can’t believe it, you miss the damn military…fuck.
Step 6
You have finally made peace. You found a place in the world, an outlet for your energy, a source for your adrenaline cravings. You’ve been promoted enough times at work that you’re making decisions now and affecting change. You have reconnected with old buddies and even made some new ones. You fill your days with stories of what once was, and think of new and unique ways to get in trouble. Although you’re body is tired, your mind is strong and so you drive on. You live for your family and find joy in serving someone or something. Life is good again, and you miss the military…less.
-LJF