The first few months

I know it’s been a while since I’ve had a post.  This is mostly a one man show, and sometimes life grabs you by the balls and you have to focus all your energy in gingerly extricating yourself out of that particular conundrum.  That’s another way of saying I’ve been busy, but I’ve been thinking about you guys still.  So lets get to it.

When you first get out…

You have just uprooted everything in your life.  Most of you joined the military in your teens or early 20’s.  All of your friends are from the military, your free time, your hobbies, your interests were all molded by the time you served, even your haircut and the clothes you wore were influenced by the military.  Now you’re on your own.

Maybe you moved some place new.  You probably started a new job, and now you’re trying to make new friends.  Your wife no longer has an FRG support group, and your kids are in a new school.  Everyone is experiencing higher levels of stress, and most of the time, you’re going to have troubles in your job as well.

You need to give yourself a chance to figure this life out, take a breath, and make sure everyone in your family group is on the same page.  It’s not all sunshine and rainbows like you thought it was going to be, but just like the beginning of your military career: the first week at basic training is not what the rest of your career will be like.

Training

Believe it or not, the military does an excellent job of training and preparing you for each new position compared to the civilian world.  Before every major leadership step, there is a training academy of some sort with a single standard that one must at least achieve before actually performing in that role.  From basic training to CGSC, every one of you went through some sort of training.  You were taught the basics that every soldier must know to survive, then you were taught the minimum requirement for the next leadership position you were going to take.  That training didn’t stop there though.  When you arrived at your unit, you were trained further, or maybe you went to MOS specific schooling, the bottom line is that you spent an assload of time just learning how to do your job.

When you get in the civilian world, you’re probably going to get a day or maybe two on safety information, some powerpoint on what your job is, and that’s pretty much it.  Yes, I understand there are exceptions, but most entry level jobs will require very little training and that is what you will get.  The end result is that when you start your job, you will have no fucking idea what you are doing for the first time in your life (or since you can remember) and that is going to be frustrating as hell.

I remember sitting in the office asking questions and trying to find things to do because I was so damn lost all the time.  One would think that as a former Infantry Lieutenant I would be comfortable being lost, but I hated it.  I hated not knowing and understanding the business.  It pissed me off that I didn’t know the intricacies of manufacturing, material flow, or what a Kanban was.  I certainly didn’t know how to use SAP or how to fill out employee time cards.  I felt like I was failing at a job that I knew I should have been able to do.

It gets better

Over time I learned about the business, and all my frustrations made me that much better at my job because I would not stop until I had answers.  Then once I understood what I was doing, I started working to make it better.  How can this process be improved?  What parallels can I draw from the military here?  Where are there efficiency gaps?

Once I was able to become a change agent because I understood the business, then the job became much more rewarding.  I was training other folks as they came in, anticipating problems before they occurred, and improving my sphere of influence.  This helped me get a great work/life balance, spend more time as a husband and father,  even find time to write a book and start the blog you’re reading which has brought me great joy (thanks for all the messages!).  Life is great, and I am so glad I made the decisions I did.

I’m better than you

I got an email from one of my old SSG’s who has a Bronze Star license plate.  Some dude asked him what the star meant and jokingly he answered, “It means I’m better than you.”  I loved this guy because of his unrelenting sarcasm regardless of the situation, but sometimes it’s missed.  “I laughed and smiled but he definitely didn’t think it was funny,” he told me in a message.

Now before all you keyboard warriors start typing away about how much a problem that attitude is with the military, let me tell you something:  No one gives a fuck what you think and you don’t have to tell the world when you don’t like something.  You can, in fact, shut the fuck up and move on.

So anyway…Many of us really do struggle with taking a step backwards responsibility wise.  You spent years making life or death decisions leading hundreds of men and accounting for millions of dollars of equipment, now you’re in charge of no one and the only property you have you can hold in one hand [queue the dick jokes].  It’s hard to stay motivated, particularly if you have a shitty boss too.  If you stick with it, if you can endure some bullshit while you learn about the business, I can tell you, you are going to move up fast.  The skills you learned in the military are going to make a huge difference, and you will see that the only limitation to your potential will your wants because few people out there can compete with you.

-LJF

 

Getting out of the military is hard!  Don’t make it harder on yourself by not being prepared!  Buy CONUS Battle Drills:  A Guide for Combat Veterans to Corporate Life, Parenthood, and Caging the Beast Inside!